mollyannice:

steejie:

queer-cheer:

kirklanddryersheet:

gimme-da-memes-b0ss:

Bulbasaur was never the same after that day 🐉

Omg omg I got a bulbasaur at build a bear and I was kinda embarrassed about buying it for myself and stuff but there weren’t any other kids in the store or shoppers for that matter and the girl helping me said she was glad to here it was for me as she collects some plushies and has her own bulbasaur.

Well she was almost done stuffing him and then I noticed that you can put scents in your bear and fucking love cotton candy and the girl basically car salesmen style sold me on the scent pad and asked where I wanted the scent to go

And I didn’t know where it should go but she herself being quite the plushie enthusiast was like “you’re gonna hug him a lot right? may I reccomend right here” and pointed to his forehead

So I was like “awe cute yeah that sounds good” (my bulbasaur is totally stuffed mind you and I even had her make him extra firm )

and then the girl rolls up her sleeves and was like “alright bulbasaur! Here we go! I apologize in advance but this is gonna look very inappropriate!”

And she fisted my super full bulbasaur all the way to her elbow saying sorry to him and to me over and over again. It took her several tries to get the scent pad in place since my bulbasaur was so stuffed and she looked like she was straining and saying “I don’t know why they didn’t think about this design more, so many parents are gonna complain about this one day, I know it”

So all in all this was the best build a bear experience I’ve had since I was a little kid and I love my fat, cotton candy scented, anally inclined bulbasaur to pieces

I WORK AT BUILD A BEAR AND EVERY TIME I HAVE TO STUFF ONE OF THESE BASTARDS I HAVE TO ALSO PREPARE MYSELF FOR TWO THINGS: FIRST, I HAVE TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR PUTTING THE STUFFING TUBE INSIDE OF ITS ASS. RAWING BULBASAUR. “RAWING BULBASAUR” IS NOT A SENTENCE I THOUGHT I’D WRITE ON THIS LOVELY CHRISTMAS EVE NIGHT BUT HERE WE ARE.

SECOND: I HAVE TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR THE CHILD PURCHASING THE ANALLY INCLINED POKEMON ASKING ME, “why is it in it’s butt?”

LIKE I DON’T K N O W BUT IT ISN’T MY FAULT AND I CAN’T VERY WELL SAY I’M “RAWING BULBASAUR” IN FRONT OF A CHILD AND PARENT COMBO BUT EVERY TIME I LAUGH AND SAY, “that’s just the way it is” WHILE I FORCE STUFFING INTO THE POOR TOY’S ASSHOLE AND ASK MYSELF HOW MY LIFE CAME TO THIS

when we got bulbasaur my manager looked at me, looked at its anus, and said she was sorry.

this is the life I, and build a bear employees everywhere, must lead.

If I go to Build-a-Bear I’m getting a bulbasaur

I have one and I suggest getting a voice thing in it as well because it sounds like it is protesting the prostate exam it’s going through the whole time.