this kitchen’s not the same without you 😥

corporationkills:

“funny” posts like “my intrusive thoughts say “cromch leaves” make no sense…like …do u know what an intrusive thought is ? it’s things you would never ever act on, they are obsessional thoughts of things you find morally repulsive and frightening. silly or weird random thoughts are passing impulsive thoughts not intrusive thoughts.

Intrusive thought: “your family doesn’t really love you and you’re just a massive burden on everyone you care about”

Impulsive thought: “hey, what do u think chocolate buttercream frosting would taste like stuffed in a taco shell?”

falloutsosuadventures:

Fallout 4 is a cruel, cruel game…

Pretty sure I drove through Night Vale on my way home tonight.

moonlandingwasfaked:

sassyshoulderangel319:

“We invite the children of same-sex couples to listen,” said the radio announcer. “We invite the children of different-sex couples to listen. We do NOT invite the Children of the Corn to listen.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” a different voice cut in. “Some of our best friends are…” *realized what he was saying was ridiculous* “… corn.”

that’s just how living in the mid west be

the-mad-prince-of-denmark:

thestereotypebuster:

When I was little, I didn’t know that ‘cursing’ and ‘cussing’ we’re the same thing, so whenever a book said someone was cursing, I just thought they were yelling “curse you!” at everyone

All I can think of reading this is-

“They say a witch cursed this house long ago”

*cut to 100 years ago*

“Fuck this house!”

3ladyinred3:

I think I want you for a lifetime..

cheeseanonioncrisps:

darkknightsrevenge:

A muggleborn in DADA class casting their first patronus and it’s a full size velociraptor. The Wizards in the class are like what the actual fuck is that and the other muggleborns cheering and singing the Jurassic Park theme.

I’m sorry, but can you imagine how awesome it would be to have a dinosaur patronus, no matter what your blood status?

“Dementors, you say? I can’t see any dementors. They must be standing behind my MOTHER FUCKING TYRANNOSAURUS REX!!!”

eggings:

apparently almost no one’s seen the video it’s free real estate comes from so here it is

endivinity:

I ran a donation thing over on twitter where I’d draw really shitty deathclaws for everyone who helped me out!! there ended up being a lot more than I anticipated @~@ here’s all the beautiful pals that came out of it though!

roxilalonde:

roxilalonde:

as a gay person i’m very lucky to live in this century because given that millennials are the gayest generation on record, my chances of getting a girlfriend have, historically, never been higher

someone just tagged this #AND YET and i know i’m the op but mood