Yeah I understand schroedingers law, that any closed box could contain either whatever is supposed to be in it, or a dead cat, which is why i don’t go into shoe stores,
People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?
Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.
i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone
They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them
What this means is, that ever single one of the following
Jack Be Nimble (who jumped over burning candles for fun)
Jack the Giant Killer (who sold his cows for magic beans then robbed and killed a giant)
Stingy Jack (who tricked the devil so many times he was banned from both afterlives)
Jack of Jack and Jill (who splattered his head open falling down a hill)
Jack o’ Lantern (the headless horseman spirit of halloween)
Jack Frost (the spirit who heralds the end of autumn and the start of winter)
Are literally the same jackass who made so many bad life choices he ended up an immortal ice dullahan with a pumpkin serving as both his head and flashlight
but what an incredible journey he had getting there
TDLBallistic's Shitpost Emporium 