This is written like a fun blurb that they’d have on the back of some off-brand fruit snacks sponsored by the local zoo, and that’s exactly the kind of gentle and educational tone with which I must be addressed at all times in order to feel safe. Thank you.
Another shoutout to the demons and monsters that lived under your bed/in your closet and actually obeyed all the arbitrary rules you invented to keep yourself safe, like “if light is touching me at all I can’t be harmed” or “if I’m stepping on carpet I am untouchable” or “if I move my hand in a particular pattern while I walk, I’m off-limits during my voyage through the dark house to the bathroom”.
That was really considerate of them, especially given how biased in your favor those rules were.
TDLBallistic's Shitpost Emporium 