god – Page 5 – TDLBallistic's Shitpost Emporium

iloveragnarok:

Me: tumblr app bad

Me: hehehe hoo I can drag the circles like a little snake

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

saturdaynightbigcocksalaryman:

i got this new anime plot. basically theres this high school girl except shes got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big old tonhongerekoogers

what happens next?!

transfer student shows up one day with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humungous hungolomghnonoloughongous

silver-boots:

steadfast:

vampireapologist:

You all, fools: *getting tattoos based on the ancient tattoos they find on bog mummies and the other ancient dead that for all you know will bind you to a forgotten god that now by all rights has a claim on your life for better or for worse*

Me, and intellectual: *doesnt fucking do that*

A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself.

Bog mummy take the wheel

tchalisew:

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

fifty-shadesofgay:

lo-kaia:

hallucin8:

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

Thanks I hate it

partner: *cums*

me: great! will you be needing anything else today?

Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice

You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.

orochislayer:

orochislayer:

the terrible power of “dont stop believing” is you dont even have to listen to it for it to get stuck in your head, just hearing the name is enough

juststemthings:

my uterus realizing we aren’t having a baby after building up a lining for three weeks:

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

w33d-witch:

Media: It’s so hot! Sweltering!! Record breaking heat unlike anything we’ve ever seen!!! Who could have possibly predicted this???

Climatologists:

mhalachai:

Pros: you can grow a new ankle

Cons: It isn’t your ankle

shiinylatiias:

choose your fighter