pathfuckery:

the-queen-of-thedas:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

lynati:

gaudybitchprince:

kelssiel:

corvidcorgi:

viridian-sun:

heedra:

why do wizards and mages and shit in stuff always have to use a fucking stick or staff to do magic. what’s so special about a gotdamn tree bone

there’s a huge occult explanation for that but long story short: if you miscast do you want a stick to explode or your hand?

also good for hitting people

twirly

dramatic flair

bad knees

Tripping a motherfucker bitching about my stick.

you can poke em’

Vaulting when you’re out of slots to cast Jump.

tinysaurus-rex:

not-regan:

ihateeverythingcomic:

twofingerswhiskey:

falling-towers:

mindfulwrath:

honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp

And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him

my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that

I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address – I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.” 

I had a dream my family housed the Obamas for a weekend and one morning Obama made us oatmeal for breakfast and, looking at my disappointed face because I don’t like oatmeal, he said “regardless of what we taste, if we eat together, we are happy.”

Once I dreamt that Michelle Obama was running a campaign to give homes to all the feral pigeons and her husband came to my house and gave me a pamphlet that just had a picture of a pigeon on it and he looked me in the eyes and said “who would you be without them?”

tinsnip:

ladyyatexel:

My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks. 

My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit.

Surgeon: Well, consider this.  She and I just had a knife fight.  And I won.  Because she was asleep during it.  

My brother: Oh.  Yeah, okay, that’s fair.

Your surgeon sounds fucking hysterical.

paper-mario-wiki:

thevoidwatches:

paper-mario-wiki:

agent-classified:

paper-mario-wiki:

if someone willingly donates their body to science after they die does that mean that if i buy their skeleton their spirit wont be mad at me

What kind of science would you do with a skeleton

the science of lookin absolutely fuckin dope in my office, mostly

that doesn’t sound like science. What you need to do is frame it as

“hypothesis: if I have a skeleton in my office, it’ll look absolutely fuckin dope”.

not much use for a hypothesis when i already know what the results would be and can thus draw a conclusion, as i already did (conclusion: it would look dope as hell) :/