help – TDLBallistic's Shitpost Emporium

cornrowe:

literally what about the “it’s leif erickson day!!” bit from spongebob was so impactful that we all just have the phrase hinga dinga durgen permanently drilled into our cerebral cortex. it was 5 seconds long

akimojo:

Identity crisis v2.0

dedicateddeathwish-c:

orangemoth:

Oh I know. And it’s absolutely overwhelming.

sleepyofficial:

hobgoblinhero:

nerdgasrnz:

zireaells:

egberts:

me playing any video game: *does not touch the block button at all throughout the game*

#no block button we lose like men

#dodge or die #there is no block

what the fuck is this dodge nonsense? You hit them harder and faster than they hit you and That Is How You Play Video Game

You cant take damage if the enemy is dead

platonic-boner:

psyducked:

I remember the second time I ever bottomed the guy used something he called “love garden” which was supposed to help with the pain because I said how much I hated bottoming the first time—and I was amazed! Although it still felt like taking a shit I at least didn’t feel like someone was digging in me like they were looking for a spoon in the garbage disposal. But the morning after I went to go poop and everything fell out of me with no push or anything and I noticed I had a one inch gape! 9 hours later! I spent the next 12 hours having panic attacks and considered how I would call my mom and explain to her that I needed my hole sewn up when at last I regained control and clenched back up.

Anyway, my man Elmo here is looking exactly how I looked when I went to inspect myself that morning and could slide 4 fingers in without blinking

taahko:

taahko:

one of my coworkers starts nearly every day by saying “good morning kings lets get this bread” and im…obsessed with it as a phrase

its “good morning kings lets get this bread” said while standing in a He Had To Do It To Em pose, for the visual learners in the crowd

powerfrog:

pochowek:

powerfrog:

pochowek:

powerfrog:

french people talk english like they lost all their teeth and self respect

american and english people cant talk french at all. who sucks toes now huh

im from quebec osti de tabarnak

Chuj ci w brzuch.

Spusczamy mu wpierdol chłopcy

darkknight-tactician-ayla:

12 year olds in 2007 more like

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

do u ever get a message or a comment that like isn’t OVERTLY sexual but it’s in the subtext and even though it seems completely innocent your kink alarm bell rings something like

“you’re so cute! would love to see a photo of you in some red sneakers!”

like…..that’s too specific to be innocuous…………. .

god i love this

android-green:

bitchboi-naughty:

powerburial:

this is arcane knowledge that the human mind cant comprehend

honestly what the fuck does this mean

“Don’t stress yourselves out about it, but don’t ignore the situation”