moonlandingwasfaked:

tripropellant:

mysteryho:

yeezusplease:

big alan did nothing wrong

i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story

this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny

if she couldnt respect big alan she wasnt the one for you

jumpingjacktrash:

inkskinned:

me: hmm it is a nice day. as i am filled with hubris, i will go outside and sit 🙂

every bug in the universe at once: crawl?????? for to crawl???????

me who likes bugs a lot: darlings it’s ok to crawl but be careful of get squish

bugs who are very smart: between page of book, i will Homestead

me: i turn page now

bugs: o my folly!