me – Page 8 – TDLBallistic's Shitpost Emporium

Me: fully aware that fucking monsters can have awful consequences like infections, broken bones and even death.

Also me:

c-rowlesdraws:

acfan120:

c-rowlesdraws:

every time…

Some Gremlin is best

omfg I can’t BELIEVE I hadn’t reblogged this adorable addition to my post yet. I love the balloon and the flower crown.

lmaonade:

my moms making fun of me bc i saw a spider in the kitchen and like jumped back and said “oh fuck a bastard” dude caught me off guard

wildflowexr:

romanumeraltwo:

does anyone else get insanely romantically frustrated, like i know sexual frustration is a thing but sometimes i get super intense cravings for soft kisses or make out sessions or cuddling naps or things like that and it’s way more frustrating to me than sexual cravings

IT’S IN WORDS

apocalypse-angel:

bumblebeebats:

me: hi, how are you today?

some SuitPerson: haha well you know – thank God it’s FRIDAY amiright!!!!!!

me, who works the next three days and has entirely lost the concept of weekends as a time for rest and relaxation:

My favorite thing is when people say “Thank goodness it’s the weekend!” or “At least it’s Saturday!” while I am ringing them up for their purchases on a Saturday.

dontstarvetrash:

beanbunz:

I paused Kung Fu Panda Holiday at the perfect moment

when your math teacher is moving on to the next chapter but you still don’t know anything

leftboob-enthusiast:

Like no offense to my friends and family but if I had the chance to abandon this timeline for a medieval fantasy land I would absolutely do it, goodbye student loans and depression hello cool magic shit and most likely an early death by the sword (as it should be)

saccharinescorpion:

sliding scale

lmaonade:

i’m so sorry for being a customer, i want to leave you alone but sometimes i have to buy things or eat. please understand i use self checkout whenever i can