Miss June Kerat, on the runway you gave us an explosion of style, but in this week’s challenge the whole thing went kaboom. Im sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination
Seeing John Mulaney do his ‘Robot Test’ bit has given me a strong desire to see him play a live action Riddler.
But not like, as any character other than John Mulaney? Like, let’s make a John Mulaney version of Edward Nigma. Just this socially awkward disaster man who somehow becomes a supervillain because of a misunderstanding he couldn’t correct without ‘seeming rude’. And now supposedly he’s committed to killing Batman but he doesn’t actually want to be the cause of a man’s death so he just obfuscates things with ‘clues’ and ‘riddles’ and ‘battles of wits’ until Batman inevitably defeats him and he’s just like ‘oh thank god please don’t hit me’.
Batman’s like ‘you need help Nigma’ and he’s just like ‘yeah that’s fair, I should probably look into seeing somebody at this point, I became a supervillain because of social anxiety and that might just be a red flag you know?’
“Hey, Batman, think you’ve seen everything, huh? Well, figure out how to deal with this! You know Gotham General Hospital? Yeah? Well you’ll never guess what I let loose in there!”
“Riddle me this, what has four hooves and presents a massive health and safety violation?”
“I see you there, Batman. And I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.”
Give your players a “disintegration gun”. What it actually does is shoot people into the future. In the final session all the people they shot with it blink into existence around them at once.
fact: every time someone makes a bing search unironically global warming gets a little worse and the Flood Times approach a little closer
fact: every time someone makes a yahoo search unironically someone gets cancer
Fact: I do not give a shit about earth anymore because she is doing what she needs to get rid of them and also I will physically die if I don’t know what banana eels eat
ok that’s fair
What happens if you use google?
you get the information you requested and the earth continues on its orbit unharmed
fact: anyone who ever made a duckduckgo search unironically was retroactively removed from the timeline.
Excuse me for wanting to watch YouTube videos at school. I don’t even like this timeline
my hot topic cashier had big buttons that said “ask me about my fursona” and “submissive” on his lanyard but no name tag because thats just too personal i guess
The one time I check the url to see if it’s one-time-i-dreamt and it’s not
TDLBallistic's Shitpost Emporium 