Tag: oh

spicy-vagina-tacos:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

so i went shopping with my girlfriend yesterday and i saw this pair of denim shoes, and seeing as ive been on this god forsaken website for too long, you know what i did? you know what this grown ass 23-year-old did in the middle of a busy store?

i pointed to the god damned shoe and said in real life out loud, “jews” 

plnets:

fidefortitude:

slumbermancer:

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body.

that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

this post fucking haunts me i was high as shit the first time i read all this and just accepted it as fact

saintsalt:

nintenerd64:

god im going to be fucking hallucinating this video for months ok there’s just so much to this to break down

  • the initial fact they’re talking through a hand puppet with the oobi eyes 
  • the horrible, horrible desynch between their words and the movements of the hand 
  • lack of any clear place the hand is looking 
  • “dwells in the depths”. just the whole sentence itself and the weird inflection on it.
  • the fact that the dude clearly already discovered this thing and was so moved by it they went to record it 
  • “wuoah”, and the split second of open-palmed hand that no longer resembles a puppet 
  • the weird fade in on the music and the fact it sounds a little distorted at first 
  • the very specific but undefinable emotion conveyed by the music 
  • the inconsistent zoom 

fantastic analysis but you forgot the banana in the chair which is integral to my enjoyment of this video

thecalerianking:

thecalerianking:

so im trying to decipher this chart on wikipedia that has common vampire weaknesses in it and

a ‘green/yes’ is a weakness, a ‘red/no’ is something that isnt a weakness, and a ‘?’ is something that has never been addressed but fucking riddle me this

in what lore are vampires weak to getting soggy in milk

i scrolled over to check to see what this could possibly be and

places a hand on me cheek