put a quantum physics book inside a joke book inside a quantum physics book inside a joke book inside a potentially infinite number of quantum physics and joke books
plague papyrus’ life with incidental music
create a self sustaining tornado made of trash
put a flashlight without batteries into the bulb socket of his lamp
chug an entire bottle of ketchup which is apparently a regular thing for him
teleport back and forth a short path to follow you and then act like you’re the one who’s following him
work like 5 sentry stations but is either not at any of them or asleep on the job and yet keeps getting hired at new sentry stations
sell water sausages in hot dog buns for 30 g a piece at his sentry station
stack said water sausages in hot dog buns on your head if your inventory is full
but only up to 29 sausages. 30 is just excessive.
sell concert tickets made of toilet paper for you and shyren’s concert
write “sans” on a lump of snow as a snowman
write “sans” on his face as a halloween costume
ride a tricycle down a highway that can keep up with the racecar papyrus is driving
break into the underground’s most expensive restaurant to have a private talk with an 8 year old
said private talk consisting of “I could kill you if I had to. actually nvm I’m rooting for you kid”
“you’re not dead so I did a great job at keeping you safe right?”
come across a giant door hidden deep inside the woods where he’s supposed to patrol for humans and his first thought is “man this would be great for practising knock knock jokes”
he practises his knock knock jokes on actual doors who the fuck does that that’s so cute
judge the trustworthiness of someone he’s never seen face to face based on how much they like bad jokes
the conveniently shaped lamp
when you reload your save multiple times in the hallway in pacifist route he tells you a series of code words and the code words are “I’m a stupid doodoo butt” and “I’m the legendary fartmaster”
instead of giving you the key to his room he retcons it onto your keychain
when he gives you the key he all dramatically says “It’s time you learn the truth” but when you go to his room you get stuck on a treadmill with a note that says “the truth is that you got owned, nerd…..”
whenever he says he’s going somewhere he walks off in the complete opposite direction
in pacifist end when everyone’s interrupting your fight with asgore he moves next to toriel by floating off the top of the screen and then reappearing from the bottom instead of just walking over like a regular fucking person
sometimes he runs a comb over his completely hairless head
You know, I think what makes Papyrus and his boastfulness so endearing, despite egoism usually being a negative and unappealing character trait, is the fact that his self-confidence does not exist at the expense of others. He doesn’t build himself up by putting other people down; he thinks highly of everyone! He can consider himself great and admirable while still genuinely being impressed by the people around him and celebrating their accomplishments.
Papyrus understands that greatness is not a competition; it’s something everyone can win at! And even if he is the greatest, it’s only so that he can show everyone else how to recognize their own inherent value.
Papyrus believes in himself! Papyrus believes in me! Papyrus believes in you, too!
Undertale was full of raw ass lines and I’m sorry y’all are too chickenshit to acknowledge this because you’ve decided it’s cringy to like things
op is so right and here’s some evidence (not even a fraction of it all):
“I can’t go to Hell. I’m all out of vacation days.”
“Despite everything, it’s still you.”
“My brother’d really like to see a human, so it’d really help me out if you’d keep pretending to be one.”
“Don’t worry, my little monarch, my plan isn’t regicide. This is so much more interesting.”
“First, however, is as customary for those who make it this far… I shall tell you the tragic tale of our people. It all started, long ago… No. You know what? SCREW IT! WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT STORY WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO DIE!”
“The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.”
“If I were you, I would have thrown in the towel by now. But you didn’t get this far by giving up, did you? That’s right. You have something called ‘determination.’ So long as you hold on… so long as you do what’s in your heart…I believe you can do the right thing. Alright. We’re all counting on you, kid. Good luck.”
“I understand why Asgore took so long to hire a new royal scientist. The previous one… Dr. Gaster. His brilliance was irreplaceable. However, his life… was cut short. One day, his experiments went wrong, and… Well, I needn’t gossip. After all, it’s rude to talk about someone who’s listening.”
“You should be smiling, too. Aren’t you excited? Aren’t you happy? You’re going to be free.”
yeah yeah sans undertale jokes but “its a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming. on days like these, kids like you, should be burning in hell” is extremely raw
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