i just cant get over the lobster scene. like his friends are actively begging him, do not get into the lobster tank. please eddie. tom hardy you were in mad max fury road dont do this. and tom hardy looks at his friend like “i know i shouldnt do this. i shouldnt be getting into this lobster tank but i’m going to anyway. i’m already mostly inside. cant stop now. i’m sorry i dont want to be doing this either there’s just no other choice for me.” and then he takes a bg bite out of a live lobster that’s still in the shell and everything.
tom hardy doesn’t actually know he’s being possessed by an alien yet in the story. he’s just resigned himself to whatever fucking meltdown he seems to be having. he doesn’t even seem particularly surprised that things have gone this way for him. like ten minutes later he finds out his heart stopped working and hes just like “you asshole” and he throws his alien parasite against the wall like a water balloon. and then he just leaves and is immediately kidnapped. what a fucking wild ride tom hardy is on.
tom hardy’s actual superpower is being the exact same level of dysfunctional no matter what is happening in his life. so when everything’s going ok for him he self-destructs spectacularly, but when literally everything that can happen to a human being happens to him, he does, like, unrealistically well. climbing into a lobster tank and eating a live animal with large claws just like… “well, this is what’s happening to me today. i’m so sorry you have to watch this, man. anyway here goes, i’m going to bite into a living creature with my human mouth and then LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS”
this movie’s fucking killing me from the inside.
IT WASNT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT TOM HARDY IS JUST A FUCKING GENUINE MADMAN
movies where a creature of another species with a love for good food meets a mess of a human down on his luck living in a shitty apartment and the creature can control the guy’s action and he’s unwilling at first but they learn to cooperate and together they can stop the evil rich man trying to take them down
venom is getting bad reviews because clearly no movie critics are monster fuckers. send tweet.
like honestly though you know these plain ass bitches were going into those theatres hoping to have some film about how eddie brock overcame the scary slime monster to take down the evil scary bad business man and then he and miss blondie would ride into the sunset on the back of his motorbike and i just have to ask like… did they all seriously watch eddie “big bitch energy” brock and venom “big slut energy” symbiote in the trailer releases and think “oh yes, this is going to be an intellectual piece of film”? No! this film is for horny people and people with taste so bad it’s good. no i won’t elaborate.
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