what – Page 2 – TDLBallistic's Shitpost Emporium

armedandgayngerous:

tilthat:

TIL in 1915, San Diego hired a “rain maker” who used a secret mix of chemicals to “attract rain” for $10,000, payable if he filled their reservoir. It rained for most of January, destroying bridges, dams, and causing 20 deaths.

via reddit.com

that was the Devil

roadhonk:

I first read this story on Reddit several months ago but in the time since then it has absolutely haunted me and I regularly remember it as I’m laying down to sleep and without fail even thinking about it will make me laugh hard enough that I wake my sleeping boyfriend and I have to explain “I thought about the what fart again” and apologize

snarthurt:

snarthurt:

everything about whats been happening to elon musk has been getting increasingly and exponentially funnier and i only wonder what the crescendo will be

at this point im waiting for that shitty car he shot into space to get caught in earths gravity well and squish him like a looney tunes character because that seems to be where this is heading

brassy:

brassy:

brassy:

brassy:

how do you make someone holy

you beat the hell out of them

my 96 year old catholic grandma told me this

did you just trigger tag my grandma

haunt-my-miles:

prince-squid:

If you tried to live on iceburg lettuce alone, you would have to eat 34 heads of lettuce daily and you would spend $17,551 annually before dying of multiple nutrient deficiencies.

why was this calculated

king:

mushroom-cookie-bears:

today in art class i took my phone out for like 2 seconds to just check the time and my battery percent and my beloved art teacher, who just happened to notice the sonic the hedgehog shirt i was wearing, yelled “SONIC, PUT THE PHONE AWAY” ajd i swear those five words hit me like a speeding truck on a highway i was unable to paint right for the rest of class because i was still reeling in from the shock

borgerpearl:

berrystumpytail:

borgerpearl:

borgerpearl:

borgerpearl:

Asking someone if they watch anime dubbed or subbed is basically the same as asking if they’re a top or a bottom.

To clarify, people who watch the dub are tops and people who watch the sub are bottoms.

Brave of you to assume people who watch anime fuck

This is the only criticism I will accept on this post

gamecubeeater:

anxiet:

mime owners: this is claude st. pierre, we adopted him two years ago. he’s a third generation french mime with roots in the early carnie awakening. we only feed him hand toasted vegan peanuts and paleo candy floss

fool owners: this is hoops he likes jokes

this post came from a darker universe

banshees:

metalbatteryzone:

Software Creations: *in the middle of development for Solstice* Okay so we need an intro theme to set the mood. Something folky, like medieval times. Think you can try your hand at that?

Tim Fucking Follin: Yeah I got ya, check this out.

Software Creations: *barely seconds in* Ohhh yes finally, something that isn’t an overwhelming banger. You done good, Mr. Follin.

Tim Fucking Follin:

*waits for it*

Software Creations: *ten seconds later*

egberts:

pathosprit:

egberts:

pathosprit:

egberts:

y’all remember before ebooks were big and simulreleases were a thing when a new manga chapter would come out and you’d have to wait for some dedicated soul to scan all the pages in, clean them up, and translate them?

no, im not old

I’m only 23 rjfjsjsjfjdiaoskfjej

you’d be dead in dog years