This post has no reference or explanation and doesn’t need one at this time, but years from now we need people to remember when Smash Mouth murdered Khaled and solidified pussy eating culture
does anyone else with intrusive thoughts do that weird dismissive head shake when they get them to kinda like.. reverse/reject the thought or is that just me
Gotta shake your brain like an etch-n-sketch and start over
The world’s tiniest dragon must defend his hoard, a single gold coin, from those who would steal it.
Suggestion: The dragon’s definition of “steal” is somewhat loose. It still allows the coin to be used and bartered and change hands–but on one condition: the dragon must be with it at all times.
They become a familiar sight in the marketplace.
“Here’s your change, ma’am. One gold piece.” The merchant holds out a palm, on top of which rests a tiny, brilliantly colored creature clutching a single gold coin.
“That’s a dragon,” you say dumbly. “One piece… and a dragon.”
“Yes.”
You cautiously reach out and attempt to take your change. You tug. It holds. You tug harder. The dragon lets loose a tiny, protective growl.
“Ma’am–no, ma’am, you have to take the dragon, too.”
“Sorry?”
The seller notes your dubious expression. “Not from around here, are ya?” They shrug. “Them’s the rules. Take the coin, take the dragon.”
They wait expectantly. Wondering how the world has so suddenly gone mad, you slowly, slowly hold out your hand.
The dragon perks right up. It scampers from their palm to yours with the coin clamped in its jaws and scales your sleeve with sharp little claws.
“Have a nice day, ma’am,” the merchant says. “Spend him soon, now, you hear? At another booth, if you can. He likes to travel.”
From its perch upon your shoulder, the dragon lets out a happy trill.
Bonus: the coin eventually passes to the rogue in a group of travelling adventurers. The dragon becomes the mascot of the entire group, and they lay out a small pile of coins for him to sleep on every night, clutching his coin like a teddy bear.
Rose: You know the words to win my heart
Dave: (come on, John, it’s just “I love you” you can’t mess this up, bro)
John: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’naghl fhtagn
Dave: bro what
Rose: Take me now
me redoing a keysmash over and over until i like the results
like, a god of death or whatever, standing on my lawn: you’re about to experience the wrath of a god
me, who was watering my plants and turned at the sound of a voice, thereby accidentally spraying them w/ the hose: oh, wow, i’m so sorry dude, shit
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